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Mr. Idiot Speaks

April 19, 2012
Becky Akers,

Keystone Gestapo

In 2006, the courageous Ryan Bird from Wisconsin approached a checkpoint after writing “Kip Hawley is an Idiot” on the plastic bag said idiot had decreed for passengers’ toiletries. You can predict what happened next: the TSA’s goons “detained” Ryan for 25 minutes to punish his feistiness.

We’ll trust Ryan finally if tardily arrived at his destination and has thereafter avoided airports. Otherwise, little has changed in the last six years. The Idiot’s mental capacity is still half that of wallpaper, even if his circumstances now differ: he forsook his cushy seat as the TSA’s Alpha Male when the Republicrats lost the political football to the Demopublicans in 2008. That fumble eventually subjected aviation to the tender mercies of John “The Pervert” Pistole. Idiot was a tough act to follow with his 3.2-ounce nonsense and his baggies to neutralize explosive Listerine and cologne, but The Perv managed to exceed this abuse. Under his suzerainty, the TSA’s thugs gate-rape and ogle us. It’s enough to induce nostalgia for mere lunacy from The Idiot rather than The Perv’s outright sexual assault.

And now… the rest of the story. …..

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