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Thanks, But I’ll Take the Constitution as My ‘Passenger Advocate’

December 17, 2011
Becky Akers,

You know an idea’s bad when two politicians propose it. And you know it’s really bad if one of them is Sen. Charles “UpChuck” Schumer (D-NY).

So naturally, the notion’s garnering plaudits from those perverted morons at the Department of Homeland Security [sic].

UpChuck perennially pursues publicity; last weekend, that quest had him joining one of New York’s state senators to exploit three elderly women from Long Island. Their age and infirmities recently handed the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) an excuse to strip-search them at JFK International Airport – as if carcinogenic scanners and pedophilic pawing of little kids aren’t reason enough to abolish this bureaucracy.

But rather than disband the TSA, our diabolical duo called a press conference. Yes! There they used the victims’ sons as props to hype themselves and their sorry “solution” to the agency’s atrocities: a “passenger advocate” at every airport, drawn from the TSA’s existing ranks of kleptomaniacs, voyeurs, and gate-rapists. Looks as if the unions should “contribute” more heavily to the DNC: here’s an opportunity to add a couple thousand more goldbrickers nationwide (almost 500 commercial airports serve the country, and each would “require” at least one “advocate” per shift), but UpChuck and his sidekick blew it.

At any rate, UpChuck claims the TSA’s criminals “will assist travelers with concerns over inappropriate screening processes, immediately and on-site.” Yeah, right. When has a bureaucrat ever “assisted” anyone, let alone “immediately”? Or arbitrated fairly between his co-workers and taxpayers?

Meanwhile, passengers already boast an “advocate” far superior to anything politicians could invent: the Fourth Amendment to the Constitution. It categorically prohibits the TSA’s mass, warrantless searches – and all the concomitant abuses.

But at the TSA, neither the goofiness nor unconstitutionality of “passenger advocates” matter. Its Big Bowel, John “the Pervert” Pistole, gushed this Thursday, “Oh, I think it’s a great proposal by Sen. Schumer.”

And now… the rest of the story. …..

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